Welcome to Hardwick House

A Blessing and a Curse

Why are stem-mom’s always evil? Snow White, Cinderella, Enchanted even…poor beautiful girls abused by their evil stepmothers

I’m a step-mom. There I said it, can you see my horrible evil step-mom mole? Being a step-mom is hard. You have the same responsibilities, especially when the kids live with you full time and the real mother is never there or even when she is. But there is always that one factor that people throw at you – You’re not their mother. Yes, I know. But they are still mine.

I became a step-mom when I was 21 years old, having only moved in with my boyfriend/husband 1 year before. I hadn’t even met my husbands oldest son until the day he moved in, his mother dropped him off and didn’t come back. I didn’t know what to do with a 7 year old boy and 2 years later,  Michael’s younger son moved in when he was 7, his mother wanting him to go to a smaller school. I’d met him when he was only 4. Yes, they have two different mothers.

It’s hard dealing with women who know I’m raising their children, seeing three different kinds of mothers: Mom 1 has never really been there, Mom 2 willingly gave her son to his father for the good of the son, knowing it was what he needed, and me – the Step-mom, raising two boys like they are my own, thought I’ll never be their mother in their eyes.

I hope to share some of my joys and trials as a step-mom, and hope that others like me see that they are not alone. 🙂

Comments on: "A Blessing and a Curse" (6)

  1. Step-parenting is very challenging, even in the best of all possible circumstances. Only people who have been through it realize how tough it really can be. Sometimes the kids really do see the step-parent as being their “real” parent while they’re growing up. Sometimes it happens later when they’re grown and out of the house and have a different perspective. Best of luck and wishes for you and yours! It isn’t always easy, but no one does it because it’s easy; but because it’s right.

    • so true! I guess you could say I have one of each, the one I am the mother to and the one I’m not. It creates completely different kinds of relationships.

      and thanks 🙂 So far so good, though sometimes I worry I’m doing it wrong…but I guess most parents do.

  2. It’s a difficult role, simply being a parent, but step-parenting is even more complex and I applaud you for having the courage to take it on. Many would have run.

    As for doing it ‘right’? You obviously care for the kids and want what’s best for them, and you come across as a sincere and honest person. I’d just be yourself, let the kids learn from your example, and everything should work out fine. 🙂

  3. There is one bright side ER, aren’t the evil step moms meant to be gorgeous? I’ve never had to deal with this side of things but I feel some of the pain when the nephews act up and I can’t do anything.

  4. I’m sure you are doing a fine job 🙂 After all, you are there with them every day and that must count for something!

  5. being a mom is a tough job, earning the respect, love and acceptance from children whom aren’t biologically yours is even harder. its a balancing act between what needs to be done when time calls for it, trying to be that cool person they can talk to yet not mar the image of disciplinarian.

    yet it obvious you have done so with out fail or reservation a sign of a very strong, and loving person.

    But we all know its really because you have fed the lil guys with fruit laced with magical potion of obedience and mental domination. And your have your ravenous hell hound army as your enforcers.

    because history tells us step moms are the true embodiment of all dark forces 😛

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